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Creepypasta Writing Contest: Revengeance Results


Noad

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Our judges really enjoyed getting into the Halloween spirit by reading all of the spooky entries submitted. As always, the submissions were all high quality and we were impressed by the effort that people went to when creating their stories. 

 

First Place

Niicoli

[spoiler]

~~~The sun glimmered brightly over head as I placed my hand on a golden furred head. "With Giovanni’s help we won’t live on the streets anymore! That’s great isn’t it?"~~~

 

 

 

"Vulpix?"

 

 

I sigh shaking my head out of my memory filled daze. "I felt better about this back then." I mumbled clutching the small creature to myself.

 

"Vulpix...Vul.." Gazing up at the massive tower that stood before us I soothed my Vulpix. As she calmed down, I recalled the mission directives; gather Cubone skulls at the top of the Pokémon Tower to help profit our future expeditions. Make a few Cubone sad... that won't hurt anything right? Of course not.

 

Entering the first floor of the tower I was met with the solemn faces of trainers with tears streaming down several faces. Many of the people stood around huddling, as if they were afraid to venture higher than the lobby. "Pokémon tower was erected in the memory of the Pokémon that died." I turn quickly towards the man standing at the desk with a sad smile.

 

"A-ah... I-I see... That’s... sad..." He nods slowly and I quietly excuse myself from his presence rushing up towards the second floor. The world fell silent. "Oh... No one’s here?" I pass by several headstones before noticing an old woman tending to one by the stairs.

 

"Ah, not many venture higher than the first floor...the ghosts get to their heads..." I give her a weak smile. "Ah-hah, I'm sure I can handle it ma'am. I have my Pokémon to protect me..." The woman continued dusting the stones, never looking up as I made my way up the stairs, I swear I heard her chuckle.

 

As I entered the third floor a veil of mist filled the air. Where were my team rocket allies? Was I early? Late? I passed by two grave tenders mumbling in hushed tones. "I don't feel well..."

 

"Ah! No, don't spout such nonsense! I hear the priestess above have all been possessed!" I heard the team had been having a little trouble in this tower, is this what they were referring to?

 

"Pix..."

 

"It’s okay Vixen... we’ll be fine..." I made my way up the next flight of stairs... orders are orders and money is money... right?

 

As I entered the next floor the lights dimmed and the headstones began to become maze-like in the thickening mist. "Eh-eheheheh!"

 

A chill ran through my spine as a cackle echoed throughout the room. I quickened my pace as I tried to find my way through the mist. "Vulpix!" Vixen cried out as she leapt up to my shoulder, releasing a flamethrower behind me. Gasping I turned around to be met with a scorched Ghastly crashing to the ground and a white eyed woman, her cackling grew louder as she drew her hand from her sleeve.

 

"M-my baby... What have you ... done with... MY BABY!!??" She drew her blade and slashed it down at me.

 

The blade bit into my arm causing me to fall back my pokeballs' fell from my bag and rolled out of my reach. Vixen leapt from my arms landing onto a headstone.

 

"Grrrr!!"

 

"Vixen no!" I grabbed her just as the blade collided with the headstone creating a bright spark. The psycho struggled to yank her blade from the stone and I scrambled to my feet before running into the maze of headstones. Her loud cackling echoed.

 

As I grabbed the rail of the stairs another priestess with white eyes emerged from the upper floor brandishing a bloodied blade.

 

Oh god... Whos’ blood is that?! "Vullll...PIX!" My little Vixen leapt from my arms again, slamming her five shimmering tails down on the woman’s head, her figure smashed down onto the stairs contorting in an unnatural angle as her blade slid to my feet. "Vul!" Vixen cooed as she returned to my feet.

 

"Oh god… is… she..." I knelt down slowly taking the knife in hand before reaching out my other, slowly, towards the downed woman. "Are you-"

 

"HEKEKEKEKE!!!"

 

A screeching cackle echoed from behind as the first woman burst from the mist, her own blade retrieved from the stone. "KIDNAPPER!!!!" I pulled Vixen into my arms and ran up the stairs to the fifth floor.

 

Gasping for air I darted into the next maze of headstones. Ghastly began whisking past my head, creepy grins fading in and out in their smoggy bodies. Cubone’s began weeping from the corners of the room, bones rattling and cries echo.

 

Something grabbed onto my ankle and I toppled towards the ground. Vixen fell from my arms and tumbled out of my view and into the mist. "No! Vixen!" Looking back another white eyed woman stood, her skin was greying. A wild eyed haunter laughed as darkness began to fill its hands. My hand flew to my bag for one of my pokeballs, when I realized they were gone. "A-ah! R-rattata? Zubat? Where are you!?"

 

"You stole my child...Give me my child!!" The woman began to wail as I crawled backwards in terror. The woman suddenly dashed at me as the Haunter released his Shadow Ball.

 

I scream.

 

Suddenly scream of agony that was not my own echoes throughout the room. The floor around me became enveloped in a bright blue light that repelled and shocked the woman and the attack. She stumbled back and ran into the mist her Haunter disappearing with her. "Wh-whats going on!?"

 

"Protection my child..." An old voice says gently behind me. Spinning I face her. This woman seems normal...her eyes are sane. "I have purified this space, child, you may rest here."

 

Sitting there I felt the rush of adrenalin leave me and pain surging up my arm. My free hand gripped the blood soaked wrist that held the blade, dropping it. Tears filled my eyes as my body trembled. Rattata, Zubat, and my precious Vixen?! What’s happening! Despair, pain, and confusion welled up inside of me as I sobbed.

 

After some time I finally calmed. The patient old woman took my wrist and bandaged it with a piece of ripped cloth. "Your people seemed to have stirred the spirits in their graves."

 

"M-my people...You mean Team Rocket? I-I just wanted to make a little money! I wanted to get off the streets with my Pokémon..." I sniffled running my free arm across my face.

 

"The spirits want revenge for the wrongs done on to them, they pay no heed to the motives... You are a symbol of their hatred." She looked at me gently and I closed my eyes.

 

"W-will they leave me alone? Leave us alone?" I gazed at the woman, pleading for an answer but none came. She silently sat back in her place keeping the barrier up. If I can talk to the spirits at the top... they’ll leave me alone and I’ll get Vixen back? I can't make it back down alone! I need my Vixen back!

 

With this new found determination I grabbed the knife and nodded towards the woman. "Thank you..." I let out a long breath and darted out of the barrier into the mist once more, managing to get to the staircase to the next floor.

 

"My baby..."

Words echoed around me throughout the air, in my ears, from every direction.

"Where is my baby...?"

"Give me my baby..."

 

"I-I don’t have your child! You took mine! Where is Vixen?!" A black shadow blasts out of the mist slamming into my side. Pain surges through me as I scramble to my feet and dart through the room. The cackling of the possessed and howls of broken Cubone begin to echo loudly in the mist.

 

Oh god no... Turning a corner I freeze. The black shadow twists and morphs against the ground. The lights overhead flicker as a shadowy Marowak forms against the ground its hollow eyes staring at me. "Where’s my baby... You stole my baby..."

 

I shake my head slowly. "N-no I didn-"

 

"SILENCE! KIDNAPPER! MURDERER! MY CHILD!!!" The room began to shake as the lights blew raining sparks down. The room filled in darkness but I could see the Marowak demon clearly as well as the glowing figures of psycho women surrounding me. This isn't what was supposed to happen. The shadow Pokémon lunged at me as I threw out my blade piercing it in the chest. I screamed.

 

A crimson wetness dripped down my hand and silence filled the room. Is it over... I slid my blade from golden fur.

 

It’s over...

Darkness surrounded me.

 

 

 

It’s cold... Why is it so cold... I can’t move...

Opening my eyes I see stars out a distant window.

Its night...

I turned my eyes toward the golden Vulpix on my arm. Vixen… you’re covered in something red and coated in mud... I open my mouth to tell her so but it fills with dirt.

My vision fades, looking up I see a shadowy figure staring back as ghostly women pour more dirt on my precious Vixen.

Darkness.

 

[/spoiler]

 

The amount of detail that Niicoli provided in this entry really helped the judges visualise the journey of the protagonist as they climbed the tower. The fact that most of the story is set in the darkness builds anticipation as the reader wonders what the Rocket Grunt will encounter next. I personally really liked how Niicoli built upon the main character, they were not just a Rocket Grunt with bad intentions, they were forced to be there due to unlucky life circumstances. The fact that the protagonist does not have the evil nature of most Team Rocket members really helps us empathise with their character and the bad experience they are going through. To present the central character in this way was a really great move on Niicoli's part. 

In addition to the above, this entry was truly scary and disturbing. One of the things that they judges felt really contributed to the unsettling feel was the fact that the Priestess were armed with knives. This is the Pokemon world where weapons aren't really known to exist, so by introducing them Niicoli takes the reader out of their comfort zone, heightening the sense of insecurity. The ending (which I wont spoil) is unexpected and creeps up on the reader so quickly that it leaves them with an initial feeling of shock.

Overall we felt that this was a well structured entry that fulfilled all of the requirements of a creepy Pokemon story. Great character building and Niicoli's extensive effort to set the scene throughout the story made this a deserving winner. Please send me a forum PM stating what nature you would like your Zubat to be.

 

Second Place

AlbiNani

[spoiler]

He didn’t look like a murderer.

That’s the one thought I always had when I had always seen his smiling face, taking Pokémon from their trainers, promising to unlock their full potential… The only thing he unlocked was their skulls. He would beat us… beat us until we had no strength… then forced us to make love, so he could steal our offspring. He would dump the corpses in the back, too far for anyone to see, and he’d take the eggs, put a smile on his face, and give it to the unknowing trainer. And they call us wild savages…

But tonight, things would be different. This time, we will be the ones with power, the ones who play god to those below us! Yes… tonight. Tonight there will be… revengeance.

 

 

 

 

               Cherishing her new Eevee egg, Kyia couldn’t wait to get home. She’d spent a fortune on trying to make the perfect Jolteon, and now she was just one thunderstone away from reaching that goal. The trainers in the Sevii Islands were starting to get a little tired of her, and little broke as well! Kyia looked at the time, and seeing that it was only around noon time, she decided to take the ferry back home Vermillion. She could have flown, but she knew that walking with her egg would make it more likely to hatch.

 

               Kyia boarded the Seagallop ferry, famous for its Sevii Island tours, when she walked by a trainer’s Growlithe. All of a sudden, it started growling at her, snapping its jaws. It was about to pounce when suddenly, it was surrounded by light, and in an instant was recalled to a pokeball. The Growlithe’s trainer smiled sheepishly and said, “Sorry, he’s never done that before!” Kyia smiled back and just kept walking, but couldn’t help but notice the stalking stares of the Pokémon on the boat, all directed at her.

 

 

 

 

               When the ferry had arrived at Vermillion, Kyia ran out, excited to be back in her home town. She was even more excited to see her brother Toshley, who was standing by the shore, smiling at her. “Tosh!” squealed Kyia. She ran to her brother and gave him a hug. “How have you been?” Toshley kept smiling and said, “I’ve been okay… the team takes up a lot of my time, but I’m happy with them.” They started walking to their house when Kyia noticed a blur of purple behind somebody’s house. “What was that? She asked Toshley. He frowned and replied, “There’s been an increase in Dittos around here lately. Nobody knows why, but they’re not bothering anyone, so we let them be.”

 

               Somewhat reassured, Kyia and Toshley had reached their front door, and came into the house. “Mom’s gone to Caledon for a few days, said she had some business there,” said Toshley. “Perfect time for you to invite May over hmm?” teased Kyia. May was Toshley’s girlfriend, but she lived all the way in the Hoenn region. “Maybe I already have,” he smiled.

               Kyia went up to her room, and placed her egg on her bedside. Weird, not even a crack, she thought. It was normal for an egg to hatch by the end of the day, yet hers still looked untouched. Kyia sighed and thought, maybe this one is a late bloomer. She then went downstairs to help her brother out with dinner.

 

 

 

              

               After a good dinner in which Toshley shared his curious adventures with his team, VCO, Kyia went back up in her room to check on the egg. She opened the door, and by her bedside, where she left her egg, was empty space. She looked around again, just to be sure, but the egg had vanished. “Tosh?” she yelled. “Did you move my egg anywhere?” Toshley entered the room bewildered, replying, “No, I haven’t been in-,” when suddenly something scurried into the room.

 

It was a light brown, walked on all fours, and had a furry white collar. Kyia breathed a sigh of relief as she recognized it as an Eevee! It took long enough to hatch… she thought. The two siblings began to celebrate, heading back downstairs, but in their enthusiasm, they overlooked one thing, where were the eggshells?

 

 

 

 

               It’s been a long day, was all that ran through the head of Lt. Surge, Vermillion City’s gym leader. Watching trainers digging through garbage all day only to lose to him got boring after the first few times. It was about time for him to close up the gym when suddenly he heard footsteps. He sighed, young trainers were such keeners. “Gyms closed!” he yelled, “come back tomorrow, or never, either works.” But the footsteps kept coming. Confused and somewhat cautious now, Lt. Surge sent out his Raichu.

 

               The two of them approached the sound of the footsteps, and they now saw a shadow as well. Instantaneously, Lt. Surge and his Raichu sprang out, ready to confront the figure, but then relaxed to realize it was only an Eevee. Lt. Surge smiled, and went down to pet the Eevee saying, “well aren’t you a cute little- “and then all of a sudden he was petting a Raichu. Startled, he looked back at his own Raichu who was still there.

 

The last thing Lt. Surge felt was the excruciating, treacherous burn of ten thousand volts of electricity being seared into his body.

 

 

 

 

               The night was going perfectly up to now. The egg had hatched, Toshley’s steak was amazing as usual, and Kyia was having a great time. But then something weird happened. A weird buzzing sound filed the air, and then everything went pitch black. Toshley went to flip the light switch on, but it didn’t work. “Power must be out,” he explained. “Lt. Surge will have it running again in a bit.” They waited an hour, but still, the city remained dark, the only sound being the wind blowing through the trees creating a ghastly whistle.

 

               Toshley sent out his Gardevoir. “Use Flash,” he commanded. Suddenly the room was illuminated in a white light, beaconing from Gardevoir. “Well at least now we can see…” but he was cut off by the sound of scurrying. “Eevee?” cried out Kyia. “We’re over here sweetie!” The scurrying stopped, and the sibling hesitated. “Eevee?” repeated Kyia, more cautiously this time, and at that, Eevee ran into the room, and sat before the siblings. They all sat in silence, when out of the blue, Gardevoir began attacking Eevee.

 

               It kept trying to subdue it with its Psychic abilities, when Toshley yelled, “That enough!” He recalled Gardevoir back into its Pokeball, ending the outburst. Kyia turned to Toshley and said, “What was that all-,” but stopped when she look at the expression of shock at Toshley’s face. She followed his gaze, and where Eevee was seconds before, now stood a Gardevoir. “Tosh, didn’t you just-“but she was cut off as she was left paralyzed.

She looked at Toshley, but saw only a blank expression.

 

“Tosh?”

               Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a glint enter the room, and she knew that… that thing that appeared to be Gardevoir was moving it, and it flew straight into to Toshley’s hand. He raised it from the shadows, and his blank expression turned into a malevolent sneer. His teeth, which she had seen smile countless times, now became something out of a horror film. Slowly, he raised his hand, and that’s when she realized, he was holding a knife.

 

“Toshley?” She said as he approached.

 

He kept coming closer.

 

“Toshley!?” Kyia said, mortified.

 

He stepped closer, his eyes on the same level as Kyia’s.

 

“TOSHLEY!!!” she yelled, her face a mask of pure horror, white as a ghost, chilled to the very marrow in her bones.

 

Toshley looked Kyia straight in the eye and whispered in a voice that resonated to the darkest reaches of her mind, “Revengeance.”

 

Kyia’s scream shattered the silent night as the word was carved into her body, inked by her blood.

 

 

The next morning, Vermillion City looked picturesque. The sun was out, the Pidgeys were singing, and the sea was a beautiful shade of blue. May stepped of the ferry from Hoenn, and took a breath of fresh air. When she exhaled, she broke into an uncontrollable grin as she say Toshley at the far end of the dock waiting for her.

 

“Toshley!” she shouted, across the pier. He looked back and smiled.

 

“Hey beautiful, I missed you,” replied Ditto.

[/spoiler]

AlbiNani did a great job bringing the PokeMMO world into story form. We loved that they took our breeding system and turned it into a truly creepy and enjoyable story. One thing that really stood out was the fact that Pokemon were harming people, something that goes completely against the norm and it really helped heighten the sense of unknowing and fear. 

The story had excellent pace and the judges enjoyed the frequent switch between an unsettling atmosphere and a normal, comfortable one. This puts the reader on edge as they cannot predict what turn the story will take next. 

AlbiNani captured the essence of the contest really well, basing their story around "revengeance" and really staying on topic of the prompt well. Overall we felt that this entry was very deserving of recognition and we look forward to future writing entries from AlbiNani!

 

Honourable Mention

Kiliminati 

I personally felt this entry was incredibly written and I loved the unexpected ending. The other judges were also impressed with the quality of this entry, it is clear that a lot of effort was put into it. It was really enjoyable to read and I felt that this entry was very deserving of a shout out. 

 

All entries can be found here.

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Hey, I haven't received my rewards point yet, any idea how I can get them?

Hey, keep checking your balance when you log in. Squirtle (our Head Game Master) should credit them to your account within the next few days. Send me a PM if you still have not received them by this weekend. Apologies for the wait!

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