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It's not just about introducing myself, it's about making a point.


Cyen

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  • 7 months later...
  • 6 months later...

Hello everyone. I was 14 when I started playing this game, 17 when I made this thread and now I am 19 years old. How time flies, huh?

 

I have been away for some time, the reason was because I had to study, but I was done with that over half a year ago. At that time, I have started to feel something that I haven't felt before in that way: real loneliness, sadness, emptiness.

 

With the realization that I have never been loved and may never be loved by someone, I have started to develop suicidal thoughts. I am incredibly lonely and nothing can change that. I can not ignore it. Everyday I get reminded of it, I am alone. There is a point where nothing brings you joy anymore, I was at that point last November. Nothing could entertain me, nothing could make me happy. I just wanted to sleep for longer and not wake up, I fantasized a lot about ending it. I am not like that anymore, I still feel the loneliness, but I want to live because I have some hope left that things can change, that there is a future where I'm not alone. Hope is my only reason for living.

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  • 4 years later...
On 2/16/2017 at 10:57 PM, Cyen said:

Hello everyone. I was 14 when I started playing this game, 17 when I made this thread and now I am 19 years old. How time flies, huh?

 

I have been away for some time, the reason was because I had to study, but I was done with that over half a year ago. At that time, I have started to feel something that I haven't felt before in that way: real loneliness, sadness, emptiness.

 

With the realization that I have never been loved and may never be loved by someone, I have started to develop suicidal thoughts. I am incredibly lonely and nothing can change that. I can not ignore it. Everyday I get reminded of it, I am alone. There is a point where nothing brings you joy anymore, I was at that point last November. Nothing could entertain me, nothing could make me happy. I just wanted to sleep for longer and not wake up, I fantasized a lot about ending it. I am not like that anymore, I still feel the loneliness, but I want to live because I have some hope left that things can change, that there is a future where I'm not alone. Hope is my only reason for living.

I was 14 when I started playing this game, 17 when I made this thread, 19 when I wrote this quoted message and now I'm 23.  Funny how time flies.

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