474 words
Good Things Come When You Pray (note that this is not a filthy attempt to convert you)
[spoiler]
Name’s Al Gambino, I’m pretty famous around town – famous for being broke that is. I’ve spent my entire life gambling what I had, even doing some dirty work for Team Rocket for some petty cash. Today’s been especially slow at the slots, I’ve lost about $1,000 just this hour. Being raised atheist parents, I never really believed Arceus or the RNG God, but these past few days, I have been struggling to eat, barely being able to afford any food down at the Café. So I’ve decided to convert. I prayed to Our Lord and Savior Arceus and the RNG God and begged them to bless me with a bountiful amount of cash.
Dear Lord and Savior Arceus and RNG God,
May you bless me with a truckload of cash,
To find the strength to buy a thousand fedoras,
To aid the suffering of your neckbeard followers,
That is all I have to say.
Thank you and may you reign eternally.
Opening my eyes, I was shocked to see two ghostly figures appear in front of me. They began to speak in unison, whilst my body convulsed.
We are pleased to inform you that we have an answer,
Go forth and buy the Box of Mystery,
As the prize will be a money enhancer,
Now leave and make history.
The ground rumbled with all its might, and with a sudden flash, the two figures disappeared. I stopped convulsing, then straightened myself out. This is it I thought, my lucky day. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I ran to the Prize Corner. I arrived, panting and out of breath.
“I… would… like… a… Mystery… Box…” I spluttered.
“Yes, of course sir,” said the shop keeper.
Slowly and carefully, I opened the flaps of the box.
“HOLY MILTANK!” I exclaimed. Inside, was a check for $100,000,000! I quickly scampered to the PokeBank to redeem my cash.
Finally, I cried with tears of joy, I can help my fellow neckbeards. Excitedly, I rode the elevator of the PokeMall to the fourth floor, with the clothes section. I went up to the crazy hot clerk and smoothed back my luscious gel-coated hair. Maybe she’ll be impressed with the money I got and even bribe her to have the sexiest sex that she will ever sex later. Though of course, I needed to buy the fedoras first.
“Why good day to you m’lady,” I seduced.
“Hello sir, what would you like to buy,” she blushed.
“I’d like to buy a couple fedoras,” I said.
“You’re in luck sir, we have many in stock,”
“How much do they cost?” I replied.
“’Bout tree fiddy”
It was about time that I noticed that this cute bunch of pixels was about 500 feet tall and from the Paleolithic era.
>mfw I had the sexiest sex ever with the Loch Ness monster
[spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler]